Victoria Elementary School Playground - December
1:15 PM - There are snow blotches on the ground
where shadows are. I used to come here
on days which are indefinite days
to swing and sing and scream.
I would wear the same converse sneakers I am wearing today,
which should be ironic, but it is mainly just
what it is.
So I swing. And sing. And scream.
It feels like 5 years ago which feels like right now
which feels indefinite. I'm stronger now,
and when I kick with my left foot against the mound of mulch,
I go so high the chains retract,
threatening to release me, but I stare straight up
at the sky until tears push me into the earth again.
I realize if this were kindergarden, they would judge me
for having a wet butt from neglecting to wipe
the snow from the swing seat.
I realize if this were now, they would judge me
for trying to be a kid again.
They wouldn't understand that there is no
such thing as "again."
I love this. I like the lines where it says "I would wear the same converse sneakers I am wearing today,/ which should be ironic, but it is mainly just/what it is." It reminds me of how people say that things are supposed to change so much over the year, yet things always seem to remain the same. It makes me wonder if years from now, I'll feel exactly the same was I do now. You'd think that would be nice, but in a way things never changing is...disapointing.
ReplyDeleteThings are always changing, I think. This is comforting to me. Some things will come back to you, though. These things are usually feelings.
ReplyDeleteblog posted :) and this was really good miss clark!!
ReplyDelete