Victoria Elementary School Playground - December
1:15 PM - There are snow blotches on the ground
where shadows are. I used to come here
on days which are indefinite days
to swing and sing and scream.
I would wear the same converse sneakers I am wearing today,
which should be ironic, but it is mainly just
what it is.
So I swing. And sing. And scream.
It feels like 5 years ago which feels like right now
which feels indefinite. I'm stronger now,
and when I kick with my left foot against the mound of mulch,
I go so high the chains retract,
threatening to release me, but I stare straight up
at the sky until tears push me into the earth again.
I realize if this were kindergarden, they would judge me
for having a wet butt from neglecting to wipe
the snow from the swing seat.
I realize if this were now, they would judge me
for trying to be a kid again.
They wouldn't understand that there is no
such thing as "again."
